I don’t want to shock anyone, but I return from the dead. Specifically, and less dramatically, I’m fully aware that I need a space to write and express my interests, whether someone reads the said thoughts or not. I’m well aware that I took a somewhat unannounced subbatical in the blogging world, and it came without apologies. This was nearly 8 months of absolute freedom from the shackles of social media. My penchant for the dramatics simply isn’t ceasing.
There are certain things that I’m simply not ready to share here due to me not wanting to shock my nearest and dearest (ahem, family, sorry). Let’s just say, I had to wander this world in search of myself. I’ve had many pitfalls and many enlightened moments where I learned what it means to grow up. Not to say I’ve actually grown up, but I have found the way to real happiness. True, down to earth, away from all this “oh I got a cute pair of shoes so I’m happy” happiness. I wake up and turn on happy music and DANCE to it. I dance to it you guys, and it’s not a movie scene. It’s real. I’m finally happy.
Does this mean I was unhappy before? Not necessarily, but in a way, yes. I was angry at the world before. I cared too much about changing things and not as much about changing myself. The old adage the only thing you have control over is yourself never fully sunk in. And then I had a somewhat shocking epiphany as a result of an even more shocking life event. I swore off anger and walked down the city streets with a smile on my face. I said hello to people and asked how their day was going. I started participating, and the world started participanting in my life.
In short, I needed to get the ef away from the online scene and “find” myself. So now I come back reinvigorated and HAPPY! I think I spoke about my struggles with anxiety and depression. If not, hey, I struggle with anxiety and depression. Well, I got on meds. Not crazy high dosage meds, but just enough to keep my anxiety at bay, and I think they’re working. Things feel like they’re working in my life, so as a result, I’m happily back from hiding. Hooray!